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:iconnightshade03: More from Nightshade03


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Writing by KittykatMWuster

poetry by Moleboi


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January 8, 2013
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"I'm sorry, Sir, we're out of Coke, But I'll bring you a Sprite.
I hope our little error has not inconvenienced you tonight."


I challenge you to fisticuffs! You do offend me, Sir!
On the fields of honour, we shall duel, Cur!
Back to back, we two shall stand, at the setting sun.
And I shall not run from the fight until the battle's won!
Ten paces forward, no turning back, and then I count to three.
And one - and only one - of us shall claim the victory.

"Oops! My bad! I didn't mean to put ice in your drink.
We're short staffed on a busy night, and I guess I didn't think!"


I challenge you to fisticuffs! I shall have satisfaction!
If I do not stand my ground, no body will take action.
My gloves are off, the time has come, no more turning back.
So don't try to show me up, I'll throw you down now, Jack.
I'm a reasonable man, so I shall give you a chance to right your wrong.
But you should hurry, my humble mercy doesn't last me long.

"I've brought the tray of desserts for you, but I'm very sorry to say,
we don't serve any cheesecake here, but we do have crème brulee.


I challenge you to fisticuffs! It's time to make a stand!
I shall be the one to walk away, while you lay dying in the sand.
So defend your pride, unless that is, you want to back out now,
and leave this town behind you - and on your solemn vow,
never return, or face your fate, and I'll teach you a lesson,
with the help of my two best friends, Misters Smith and Wesson.

Thanks so much, dear Customer, for dining with us today,
and thanks for under-tipping me, it's not like I've got bills to pay!
I'm glad that you enjoyed your meal, and next time if you're not so rude,
We'll be very glad to serve you, and might not spit in your food.
It is my belief that everyone should work in retail or customer service for at least a few months during their lifetime. This way, maybe people wouldn't need to feel the need to yell and scream at their waitress, or be a huge jerk to the guy behind the counter who just had the bad luck to have to tell the guy they're out of stock of whatever stupid things he HAD to have.
This is just my over-dramatic retelling of customers being huge butt-heads. I am SO glad I don't work in food service anymore!!
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Professional Writer
This is awesome. :D
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ;-)
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:iconmoleboi:
Moleboi Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Professional Writer
Working in customer service/retail I can emphasise completly. Really ruins my whole day when I have to suffer a rude/obnoxious customer just because of a minor inconvenience.

You've done really well with this piece. Loving the rhyming scheme you got going here. :highfive:
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Glad to hear that others understand what it's like! :)
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:icongehenna-shahar:
Gehenna-Shahar Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this, it's awesome!
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:icongoblinwort:
GoblinWort Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
freaking cool and amazing, loved it
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback!
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:iconi-lie:
i-lie Featured By Owner May 7, 2013
Bahaha, lovely! I have finally watched you, because every time you submit to :iconwe-poets:, I have a giggle.
This is literally why I have gone back to school. Working service is making me into a grumpy, angry person.
Keep submitting!
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!! I plan on submitting as much as possible!
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:iconaussiedidge:
AussieDidge Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hell yes! Although I've never worked in retail, mostly focusing on university studies, some people really need to just get a grip, and some common sense wouldn't hurt either.

At lease waiters and waitresses all over can take comfort that they, in their own small way, can show their disapproval towards a customer's behaviour.

With that said, as paying customers you do expect to be served professionally, regardless of the industry you're in, and in my experience so far, I'm glad that I've had no problems. Several of the restaurants I've headed to, local area and otherwise, have quality service, amazing food and a real friendly atmosphere.

With that said, excellent poem which heavily expresses the plight of the retail worker. It's spoken with true experience, and thus, is something I can really respect. Although you did have me worried with the "pills to pay" part. Not to be a grammar Nazi or anything (sorry), but just that one letter really takes on a whole different meaning for me. =p

Then again, if you struggle to pay for needed medication, I could understand. Otherwise, eh... ^^;
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol, I thought I'd fixed the 'pills to pay' part! lol. My little sister pointed it out to me a while ago. Usually I'm the Grammar Nazi! And speaking a bit of German completes the illusion whenever someone calls me The Grammar Nazi! "Ich mag KEINE schlechtes Grammatik!" lol. So sayeth Frau Grammatik Fuhrerin!
Anyway, be thankful that you've never worked in customer service! It actually wasn't much different back when I was a Dental Assistant for an Endodontist... or Root Canal Specialist if you prefer. Patients are just as insufferable. Old men tend to be the nicest patients, and old ladies tend to be witches (I spelled it with a 'W' instead of a 'B'). :D
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:iconaussiedidge:
AussieDidge Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah well, easy to get sidetracked... Happens to the best of us.

Looks like the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak. Sometimes you really get Grammar Nazis who are downright insufferable and vile (I could be one of them, but how is it my business if you can't spell properly? ;p)

How long have you been studying German for? Are you studying it because you plan to take a holiday, or talking to a family relative, or even better employability in general? I'm sure there's more reasons, but if there are, feel free to tell me. ;)

"I do not like bad grammar" goes for just about everybody here, I'm sure (and before you ask, I used a translator for that). And are you sure you're the Female Grammar Leader around here? I'm pretty sure there are plenty of others who'll put a stake to that claim. ;p

Actually, I've never worked under an employer before, but I have done work with my Dad's bowling league while he was Treasurer (helping him sort out money and all that, which I guess I've always found interesting to do, thanks to early days in primary school). As such, I have no idea what my first job could be, although if my double degree says anything, I'll be in the field of accounting and economics. =p

Have you ever actually had more or less a pleasant job to work in? Certainly sounds like your experience with jobs keeps driving you insane. =p
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am mostly learning German because it is awesome. Also, much of my heritage is German. I was going to take it in high-school, but the German teacher retired the year I was going into languages, and all that was left was French. Of course, much of my heritage is also French... and Swedish, and Irish, and my mom is 1/4 Native American... but German is the coolest! Gaelic Irish is still pretty kickass, but I hesitate to jump into dead languages. My Grandfather was an Etymologist and Linguistics Professor, and my Mother an English major, so I suppose the interest in Language is in my heritage as well!
And as far as jobs go, I have mostly taken up menial labor... you know, just paying the bills. Dishwasher, Housekeeper, Chef's assistant, Dental assistant, now a temporary Stay-at-home mom until my kid's in school. My skills and interests seem to be less lucrative than those the job market desires. I'm the artist/musician/writer type, which are the skills that require rise to fame before financial gain. Ah, such is life!
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:iconaussiedidge:
AussieDidge Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, does sound kinda cool. I could imagine you yelling around the workplace in German and they're all like "What the f***...? Maybe if somebody really bugs you, you could always rattle them in a different language :rofl:

Ah, that's a pity, kinda reminded me of taking Italian in high school... I placed it as one of my subject preferences, pretty high up too, and apparently the classes got too full so I didn't get in. Really pissed me off. :steaming:

That's an amazing bit of ancestry you have there. I'm supposed to have Irish, German, Norwegian and Italian, but nobody would know that until I told them. Actually it's funny, I'm confirmed to be very distant relatives with a convict going back nearly 180 years ago, whose name was Edward Killalea. =p

Well, certainly looks like thanks to your grandfather and mother that your calling card has been determined, to be an artist, a writer or poet especially. Then again, if you feel more comfortable drawing or more comfortable strumming a guitar, then by all means do it. And unless I'm mistaken, I believe that with your artwork, you can charge prices to get a better copy or even the full file (with a small introduction) and withdraw the money. Just checking... Yep, once you make a minimum of $5 through selling your artwork into prints or whatever you decide to do, you can withdraw via Paypal or cheque.

You can find it under the "My Earnings" tab. Maybe something to think about... perhaps a full-time career in the area, later on. Still, menial labour might be the best thing for now since you're not exactly rolling in popularity points here. (Don't get me wrong, you are especially a friendly, down-to-earth person, I tend to call things as I see them. ;p) Anyway, that's something for you to think about for later.

Anyway, indeed that is life... Heavily reminds me of a wonderful song I found as a fan of Celtic Thunder. Don't think it's on Youtube, unfortunately, but it was a solo of "This Was My Life" sung by George Donaldson. So melodic and very philosophical in a sense. If you ever get the chance, check out their videos on Youtube then have a look at the DVDs, I personally feel they're a wonderful group to listen to, as a fan of Irish music. =)
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, my great-great-great-great Uncle was the infamous traitor of the Sam Bass gang in the old west. He squealed to the sheriff and the others got hung. Most stories say he was killed later, but according to Family rumour he actually moved to Arkansas and became a police officer. lol, who knows. Family histories can get muddled up!
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:iconaussiedidge:
AussieDidge Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
How interesting, I guess that's the beauty of genealogy, the study of family. My cousin dabbles in that kind of thing which was how he got the information to begin with. That'd be right if he became a police officer in the end... the first true undercover cop in the Old West. ;p

Family history can certainly get messed up, can it? We can never be too sure of our ancestry. =p
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:iconthelunardragon:
TheLunarDragon Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Lord, I laughed so hard, my brother works at "a popular electronics and media store" (saying it like that to protect my bros job, though most of you could guess what I am talking about) and he always comes home with stories of customers making insane requests, not understanding the words "Out of Stock," or simply trying to sound like they know more about the products than the employees who actually have to research each product to more effectively sell it.

This poem touched on the customer/retail employee relationship fantastically and humorously. This is now one of my instant faves! :D
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy that I could give you a laugh! I'm wicked glad that I don't work in food service anymore, but I still get to hear tales of customer-shenanigans from my brother-in-law who works at "a popular camping and outdoors sporting and retail store" ;)
I just can't contemplate on what goes through the minds of these people. Like, do they sit there and go, "Oh, they don't currently have these in a size 8. I should totally be a jack@$$ and scream at this guy, and maybe they suddenly will have them in a size 8. I'm a hero." lol
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:iconthelunardragon:
TheLunarDragon Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha exactly
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:icongeralt-of-vault-101:
Geralt-of-Vault-101 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I fully live this almost every weekend. I love the way it is written showing the customer as almost medieval in there way of thinking and responses if something doesn't go 100% there way.
Superb work.
On a closing note I once got into a fight for serving a guy a pepsi as we don't sell coke.
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, customers suck. Half the time it's not even at a place I work where I see this; I'm just a bystander watching some jack@$$ run his mouth at the poor waiter who probably makes 3 bucks an hour, all because his steak TOO well done, or had less onions than to one in the picture. It's mostly how justified they seem to think they are!
One thing that also sucked was when I worked for a dentist, and patients - as it turns out - are just as bad. Some of them pretend they're in more pain than they really are and demand more pills.
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:iconmarssamuel:
Marssamuel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I started reading it in the thumbnail and was a little skeptical. Then I read his response, made a confused face, and read the rest. I'm still smiling. :clap:
Way past cool!
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, I understand! Everyone's a little skeptical when they start reading ANY of my, uh, "poetry". Thanks for the fave!
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:iconmarssamuel:
Marssamuel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It just threw me for a loop, I wasn't expecting that kind of a poem.
It fits perfectly once you (I) read it. ^^;
Title to finish, a nice clean piece.
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:icononlyifyousmile:
OnlyIfYouSmile Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My favorite are the customers who come on Saturday night and are threatening to sue you because you're out of stock on an item that went on sale Sunday morning
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol. Yeah, I worked in a buffet-style setting for a few years, and we had very specific meal-times posted, but apparently it was OUR fault when we stopped serving dinner at 7 but they wanted food NOW at 9:30!(When I was obviously heading out the door after staying late for my shift too!) We were just so unreasonable! lol. Well, I'm off the clock, buddy - and there's a deli-mart just down the road! Enjoy!
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:icononlyifyousmile:
OnlyIfYouSmile Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You tell them honey! I will never miss being a waitress nothing in the world could make me go back to customer service or retail jobs, after the military I can't handle it anymore!

But I do hate getting a bad server.
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Definitely. There are rare occasions in which the customer is actually right! lol, not often though!
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:icondarjavine:
Darjavine Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh wow, this is brilliant! It's kind of fortunate that most customers aren't THAT extreme in real life, but in their minds... :rofl:
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol, yeah. When my sister and I worked together in a Summer Camp kitchen, part of our benefits was that we got to eat the meals we served there on our break. And one time when my sister came out to eat, one of the campers, in a really offended tone, said, "Ugh. They feed the help?" Umm...
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