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Submitted on
January 8, 2013
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"I'm sorry, Sir, we're out of Coke, But I'll bring you a Sprite.
I hope our little error has not inconvenienced you tonight."


I challenge you to fisticuffs! You do offend me, Sir!
On the fields of honour, we shall duel, Cur!
Back to back, we two shall stand, at the setting sun.
And I shall not run from the fight until the battle's won!
Ten paces forward, no turning back, and then I count to three.
And one - and only one - of us shall claim the victory.

"Oops! My bad! I didn't mean to put ice in your drink.
We're short staffed on a busy night, and I guess I didn't think!"


I challenge you to fisticuffs! I shall have satisfaction!
If I do not stand my ground, no body will take action.
My gloves are off, the time has come, no more turning back.
So don't try to show me up, I'll throw you down now, Jack.
I'm a reasonable man, so I shall give you a chance to right your wrong.
But you should hurry, my humble mercy doesn't last me long.

"I've brought the tray of desserts for you, but I'm very sorry to say,
we don't serve any cheesecake here, but we do have crème brulee.


I challenge you to fisticuffs! It's time to make a stand!
I shall be the one to walk away, while you lay dying in the sand.
So defend your pride, unless that is, you want to back out now,
and leave this town behind you - and on your solemn vow,
never return, or face your fate, and I'll teach you a lesson,
with the help of my two best friends, Misters Smith and Wesson.

Thanks so much, dear Customer, for dining with us today,
and thanks for under-tipping me, it's not like I've got bills to pay!
I'm glad that you enjoyed your meal, and next time if you're not so rude,
We'll be very glad to serve you, and might not spit in your food.
It is my belief that everyone should work in retail or customer service for at least a few months during their lifetime. This way, maybe people wouldn't need to feel the need to yell and scream at their waitress, or be a huge jerk to the guy behind the counter who just had the bad luck to have to tell the guy they're out of stock of whatever stupid things he HAD to have.
This is just my over-dramatic retelling of customers being huge butt-heads. I am SO glad I don't work in food service anymore!!
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Professional Writer
This is awesome. :D
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ;-)
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:iconmoleboi:
Moleboi Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Professional Writer
Working in customer service/retail I can emphasise completly. Really ruins my whole day when I have to suffer a rude/obnoxious customer just because of a minor inconvenience.

You've done really well with this piece. Loving the rhyming scheme you got going here. :highfive:
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:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Glad to hear that others understand what it's like! :)
Reply
:icongehenna-shahar:
Gehenna-Shahar Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this, it's awesome!
Reply
:icongoblinwort:
GoblinWort Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
freaking cool and amazing, loved it
Reply
:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback!
Reply
:iconi-lie:
i-lie Featured By Owner May 7, 2013
Bahaha, lovely! I have finally watched you, because every time you submit to :iconwe-poets:, I have a giggle.
This is literally why I have gone back to school. Working service is making me into a grumpy, angry person.
Keep submitting!
Reply
:iconnightshade03:
Nightshade03 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!! I plan on submitting as much as possible!
Reply
:iconaussiedidge:
AussieDidge Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hell yes! Although I've never worked in retail, mostly focusing on university studies, some people really need to just get a grip, and some common sense wouldn't hurt either.

At lease waiters and waitresses all over can take comfort that they, in their own small way, can show their disapproval towards a customer's behaviour.

With that said, as paying customers you do expect to be served professionally, regardless of the industry you're in, and in my experience so far, I'm glad that I've had no problems. Several of the restaurants I've headed to, local area and otherwise, have quality service, amazing food and a real friendly atmosphere.

With that said, excellent poem which heavily expresses the plight of the retail worker. It's spoken with true experience, and thus, is something I can really respect. Although you did have me worried with the "pills to pay" part. Not to be a grammar Nazi or anything (sorry), but just that one letter really takes on a whole different meaning for me. =p

Then again, if you struggle to pay for needed medication, I could understand. Otherwise, eh... ^^;
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